course, I can't really blame my girl for her confusion. There have been a lot
babies in bellies around us lately, and we had just finished a visit with one
of my closest friends, whose growing belly was part of the reason we were
there. We've also been talking more about my daughter's adoption these last
several months, and looking over pictures of her with her tummy mama, both
before and after she was born.
yeah, she's currently under the impression that everyone is pregnant, especially me.
I would love to give her a sibling—more so, even, than I would love to be pregnant for myself.
whole TSA incident wasn't the first time she had declared there to be a baby in
my belly, though it was certainly the most public. I happily could have done
without the stomach reveal she offered up to the world. And ever since that
day, she's patted my belly and whispered "baby" more times than I would like.
who am I kidding? Even one time is more times than I would like.
I'm sure this is just a normal toddler stage, right? The whole concept of
pregnancy has got to be so confusing for kids, and I have to believe that when
they start being more exposed to it (as my daughter has been lately), figuring
out how the whole thing works becomes a bigger priority for them. And apparently that can mean talking about it all the time.
just wondering how normal it is that she's still talking about it. She's still telling strangers, even more than a month
later, that Mommy is pregnant. Even when Mommy has tried to make it clear,
again and again, that there is no baby in her belly.
good news is, outside from that one especially embarrassing encounter, I've
mostly just found these proclamations of hers to be humorous in nature. Being
infertile, and having spent years upon years hoping and praying to one day be
pregnant, I suppose some might assume there would have been a bit more sting to
her misunderstanding for me. After all, I would love to give her a sibling—more so, even, than I would love to be pregnant for myself.
Having anyone mistake you for having (something you really want), no matter how innocent that mistake may be, hurts.
it's not like the same mistake has never hurt me before. Years ago, when I was
still in the depths of infertility hell (pumping myself full of hormones and
paying an exorbitant amount of money for treatments that never did work), a
pregnant friend's son actually said something similar—turning from his mommy's
tummy to mine and asking if I had a baby in there, too.
then, I'll be the first to admit, it did sting. Not because I thought he was
being cruel (of course I didn't—he was just a kid) or because I feared I might
actually be easy to mistake as pregnant (I'd like to think that's never been
the case), but because I wished so desperately that I could tell him, "yes."
you've been fighting for something for so long, and it's all you really want, having anyone mistake you for having it, no matter how innocent that mistake
may be, hurts.
though? I just haven't been fazed by it. I think I'm more removed from the
whole thing; I'm at a healthier place with my infertile status, in many ways
because of my daughter and the way she has shaped my ideas of motherhood ever
since she was first brought into my life.
So no, hearing
those words from her didn't hurt me. It just embarrassed me a little.