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Life Before Toddler Vs. Life After Toddlers

Photograph by Twenty20

Ahh, life with a toddler. It’s no walk in the park, my friends. You see, there's no real way to prepare anyone for the rollercoaster and frustration and insanity of life with a small human who thinks they are in control of everything (because they basically are). So you want to know what life is like before toddlers versus after toddlers? Get ready. It’s a wild ride…

Before Toddler: You make a neat list and peruse the grocery store aisles, reading each label with care.

After Toddler: You pick a box of cereal, rip it open and give your toddler some to keep him happy, then throw it in the cart as fast as possible. Gotta beat out the tantrum.

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Before Toddler: Mealtime is a treat, and you really savor each bite of your delicious homemade meal.

After Toddler: Mealtime consists of making 10 different meals, all of which end up being rejected by your toddler and subsequently thrown on the ground. You shovel in your own food once it’s nice and cold.

Before Toddler: You get ready and waltz out the door on a whim for an adventure!

After Toddler: Just getting out the door is an adventure in itself.

After Toddler: Your idea of “going out to eat” is a drive-thru, since your kid’s too crazy to enjoy a restaurant.

Before Toddler: Eating out at a restaurant is a regular thing. You peruse the wine list, savor your dinner and enjoy some delectable dessert.

After Toddler: Your idea of “going out to eat” is a drive-thru, since your kid’s too crazy to enjoy a restaurant.

Before Toddler: You go on date nights multiple times a week, and “going out” means a dinner, drinks, movie and dancing!

After Toddler: Your daily trips to the neighborhood playground count as “going out,” right?

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Before Toddler: You spend parties mingling with everyone and having a great, relaxing time.

After Toddler: You literally dread going to parties, as it just means a few hours you and your husband have to “tag team” the toddler to make sure she doesn’t break anything.

Before Toddler: Life is relatively simple, you have a consistent routine, your hair is always neat and your house is spotless.

After Toddler: Life is exciting with never a dull moment, and you get to cuddle and love on the sweetest little person who YOU created! It’s crazy and exhausting and wild and it’s worth every second because it’s kind of the greatest adventure ever.

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